Sunday, January 30, 2011

Church this morning..

A quiet morning at home. Contemplating life, motherhood, and how I keep God at the center of it all. Listening to quiet music that enriches the soul. Watching my son explore his world. Looking out at the white world and pondering the simplicity within the chaos of a fast paced never stopping culture.

I can't honestly say that I enjoy church searching too much. In a way it's fun and I look forward to finding a church family. On the other hand, I've never been one to easily connect with others and I find it a daunting task to go from church to church. Today we take a break. We reflect on what truly matters to us in a church. And we decide on our next step in our journey.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Psalm 139

 I love this Psalm. Here it is given new life with The Message.

1 God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. 2 I'm an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking. 3 You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of your sight. 4 You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. 5 I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there, too - your reassuring presence, coming and going. 6 This is too much, too wonderful - I can't take it all in! 7 Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? 8 If I climb to the sky, you're there! If I go underground, you're there! 9 If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon, 10 You'd find me in a minute - you're already there waiting! 11 Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!" 12 It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you. 13 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. 14 I thank you, High God - you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration - what a creation! 15 You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. 16 Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day. 17 Your thoughts - how rare, how beautiful! God, I'll never comprehend them! 18 I couldn't even begin to count them - any more than I could count the sand of the sea. Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!  

(I never did like verses 19-22... they just don't fit the tone and words of the rest of the passage, in my opinion)

23 Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; 24 See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong - then guide me on the road to eternal life.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Happy 4th to my dear Joel.

Four years ago today...

This is what four years will do.... I don't have a very recent pic of us, this will have to do... This past summer...

I wouldn't want to travel life with anyone else. Love you babe!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Waiting and Dreams

I've been dreaming of my little families future a lot recently. So many thoughts for what I want for us, hope for us, need. But We have been called to a season of waiting. Waiting for the dreams God has for us to surface. Some we are already privy to, others are evading us ever so slightly, then there are those that I'm sure will send us for a loop as we meet thems. But for the moment we wait, we dream. We learn patience, we learn to be humble, we learn to live with a "just around the corner" mentality. Every so often I lose sight of the bigger picture and my hope begins to dwindle. When this happens all I can do is pray and love. As I wait in faith my hope is renewed with subtle finger prints from my Savior. Reaching for me, guiding my path, showing me grace.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Life with a toddler..

Is BUSY. Constant motion. Constant need of entertainment. It's fun, but so tiring. I look at my blossoming little boy and see boundless energy rushing towards me and often lack the ability to return it. The white world and frigid air aren't helpful with this energy. We're cooped up most of the day except for the occasional jaunt out into the open air. But we make do and enjoy.

Words. They're coming. Those blue eyes are shining with a fuller awareness of the world they live in. Frustrations often set in when he can't voice what he wants or go where he wants. Tantrums are a daily occurrence. Contagious giggles are often heard roaming the halls. Learning. So much learning. New wonders around every corner. A lonely ant making its way across the floor, white stuff falling from the sky, words coming to life on pages of a beloved book.

Life with a toddler.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

So it's 2011 now..

I think that was the first time I've written 2011. That will take some getting used to.

I hadn't gotten around to it yet, so I thought I'd write my 2010 "obituary" now. My thoughts on the year, the struggles the joys and my hopes for the year that was just birthed.


It was a good year even through its difficulties. We saw many joys through our family and we also met with many struggles. My joy this year was looking into the eyes of my ever blossoming little boy. From baby to toddler this year. So many firsts, so many experiences that were once viewed as mundane to me turned intriguing and breathtaking through the eyes of my Isaac. We watched birds fly, we spun in circles, we belly laughed during tickle fights, we threw stones in water. My imagination was revived. We went from no mobility to running in a year. Our days are filled with action and I go to bed exhausted each night.

Our hardships this year were outweighed by our joy and our anticipation of the future. And while much of our struggles are still around us, we know that we are in our God's loving, caring, and guiding hands.We know that this season of waiting that this past year brought us is good thing. We know our struggles right now are temporary, our sights are set on a brighter future. This brings me hope for 2011 and the years to follow. 2010 was a difficult one, but it brought us closer to eachother, to our Savior and to our family.

I hear people say "It is what you make it." And while that is true, I know we have the added blessing of knowing that while we are a part of the equation our sights are set on a higher purpose. The pressure of making it on our own and making this year a good one by ourselves is taken off of us because of the presence of our Lord and our hope and knowledge of an eternal joy.

Thank you 2010. Looking back, the joy and the promise of tomorrow were quite evident. It just takes a little hindsight sometimes. 2011, my eyes are open to the lessons, the joys, and the promises you will bring.

Happy New Year!